It’s never too late to structure your life
It’s never too late to start pursuing your goals, even if you haven’t done so or haven’t made a plan yet. Take action now!
I remember, on the final day of 2015, casually discussing New Year’s resolutions. I wasn’t particularly serious about it at the time. My best friend jokingly cursed me to break up with a non-existent boyfriend (don’t worry, it was all in good fun, as I didn’t actually have a boyfriend then… funny, right? Why did she even curse me?). For some inexplicable reason, I came up with a resolution that went like this: “My goal for 2016 is to find a boyfriend and break up with him, just to make my best friend’s curse come true” (yes, I know, it sounds ridiculous and nonsensical, haha).
And believe it or not, it actually happened!
When I made that ridiculous resolution, it was all in jest and I had no intention of making it a reality. Little did I know, there seems to be a strange law of the universe at play. It’s as if when I vocalize something, particularly during special occasions or when it becomes a repetitive statement, my mind takes it seriously and starts to fixate on it. I must confess that throughout 2016, that resolution kept resurfacing in my thoughts, no matter how absurd it seemed. Even when I began dating my ex-boyfriend, a sense of unease crept in, wondering, “What if the resolution actually comes true and we end up breaking up?”
It’s remarkable how the mind takes every word we say seriously and generates a sort of magnetic pull that aligns with the forces of the universe, leading our thoughts to believe it, no matter how nonsensical or implausible it may be. Eventually, with all the necessary elements falling into place and our actions influenced by what our minds keep reinforcing, that very thing we spoke out loud becomes a reality.
Watch your thoughts; They become words. Watch your words; They become actions. Watch your actions; They become habits. Watch your habits; They become character; Watch your character; It becomes your destiny.
- Lao Tzu
Thanks to that, I learned many lessons. And the biggest lesson is “Never make jokes about your life or things which are related to your life”.
After that realization, I became more earnest and serious in my approach to thoughts, plans, and decisions. I wholeheartedly believed that every idea or thought I planted in my mind, nurtured with determination, and fueled with my proactive actions would ultimately come to fruition. However, over the past three years (from 2016 to 2020), I found that my life, while not entirely chaotic, was in disarray at times. There were moments when I felt lost, unsure of my identity, my purpose, and the meaning of life itself.
Initially, I attributed this to setting my expectations unrealistically high and seeking instant results. However, I soon realized that my lofty expectations were just a small part of the underlying issue. The root cause lay in the lack of structure in my life. When I say “structure,” I mean that I often had an overwhelming number of things I wanted to accomplish, worries that consumed me, and responsibilities to attend to (which still persist). In the midst of it all, I had forgotten that I am simply an ordinary human being. I possess no superpowers, no magical Doraemon friend, nor the five enchanted stones of the Avengers to effortlessly solve every problem with a single gesture.
The only power I truly possess is the power of planning and unwavering determination.
Why did I choose to use the term “structure” instead of simply using the word “plan”?
Well, from my perspective, planning entails working on a set of tasks or goals, and it may involve creating a detailed plan that includes action steps and timelines. On the other hand, structuring goes beyond just the action points and timelines; it involves organizing and reshaping various aspects of your life to align with your plan. It encompasses your thoughts, your words, and your daily routines as you strive to grow and improve yourself (even though the truth is that perfection is unattainable, but progress can be made day by day).
How have I structured my life thus far?
Fortunately, I recently had the opportunity to watch “Minimalists — Less Is Now” a documentary released on Netflix on January 1st of this year. While I had been aware of minimalism for years and had thought about embracing it, I had never taken the plunge into the world of minimalism. But now, I feel that the time has come for me to embark on this journey.
- Reorganizing: I started by decluttering my belongings and was surprised by the number of unnecessary items I had accumulated over the past six days. Why did I buy duplicate dresses just to get a discount? Why did I need multiple containers for my makeup? Why do I have so many tote bags and phone covers?
- Social Media Boundaries: I set a daily maximum of one hour for Facebook and Instagram usage, gradually reducing it over time. I unsubscribed from channels that consumed a significant amount of my time without adding any value to my life. Instead, I subscribed to a few blogs, including one written by my best friend, who is a professional writer, and provides valuable information and knowledge.
- Prioritizing Focus: I strive to prioritize activities that truly matter to me, such as reading books, learning Chinese, climbing, and playing the ukulele. Instead of finding myself with nothing to do and getting stuck in the cycle of social media or video games, I make dedicated time for these meaningful hobbies.
- Nurturing Relationships: I prioritize quality over quantity when it comes to relationships. Rather than seeking attention from as many people as possible, I make an effort to invest in genuine connections. I understand that building strong bonds takes time, especially since I have recently relocated. While I value the friendships I have formed here, I also recognize that it may take time for them to become as close as the ones I had back in Vietnam, where I lived for 30 years.
- Goal Setting: I write down important goals and tasks, marking them on my calendar with reminders. This helps me track my progress and evaluate how far I have come in achieving them.
Damn, it’s been a real struggle!
I never anticipated how difficult it would be to resist the urge to grab my phone first thing in the morning, to resist mindlessly scrolling through Facebook or Instagram while brushing my teeth or during meals. Switching from my mobile phone to using the laptop as a means to reduce screen time has proven to be quite challenging. Over the past six days, I’ve caught myself mindlessly reaching for my phone while reading a book, inexplicably drawn to opening Facebook for no reason at all. It’s also incredibly hard to resist buying all those tempting fashion items at the mall. My brain tries to trick me, whispering thoughts like, “Phuong, you really need that bag; it would be perfect for that occasion” or “Wow, what a great discount! You don’t need it now, but you’ll regret not buying it later when the price goes up.”
But I’m okay, really. I’m not torturing or forcing myself into anything. Deep down, I know that these changes are the right ones for me.
Now, don’t expect me to talk about any results just yet. One of my resolutions is not to have expectations, and six days is far too short a time to see any significant outcomes. However, I’m happy that, for the first time in my life, I know what I’m doing and why I’m doing it.
If you haven’t given it a try, will you do so now?
Be kind to yourself, nurture a small seed in your mind today, and tend to it with care every day. With consistent effort, you’ll witness the blossoming of a beautiful flower someday.
